Saturday, March 26, 2011

Um, Interesting Disaster Theories

A (very) few commentators say this tsunami was God's
punishment against atheists in Japan
The sober among us usually have pretty logical explanations for disasters that befall the world.

The Japanese earthquake and tsunami had to do with plate techtonics. Hurricane Katrina's destruction came from, well, a hurricane, plus maybe some inadequate levees. Terrorists are to blame for the 9/11 attacks.

These explanations don't stop people with more, um, interesting theories as to what caused some of the world's catastrophes over the past decade or so.  It seems God hates us for not hating certain people, so he unleashes traumatic but photogenic disasters upon us.

The Web site Jezebel has put together a nice timeline of offbeat theories behind major world disasters from the past ten years or so. 

As you can see in the list,  abortion providers, gay people and atheists seem to be the cause of many calamaties. I wonder if any members of these blamed groups do any of the heavy lifting.

Abortion doctors, like 'em or hate 'em, don't seem to have the skills to spin up hurricanes. Most gay and lesbian people I know don't have the strength to shift plates in the earth's crust to set off earthquakes.

The list indicates God is clearly in cahoots with these groups. See, he's punishing the world, or at least some denizens of the world, for accepting the fact there are gay people, abortions, atheists and the less-than-devout.

But what of the collateral damage? Seems these disasters kill, along with the heathens, some people who don't like gays, atheists, etc.  What gives? Is God clumsy? Or do the victims of the collateral damage go straight to heaven, where they help God plot future disasters.

Inquiring minds want to know.  So I can begin cowering in the basement.

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