People Want David Hasselhoff!

A terrible crime wave has hit Vermont: Somebody is stealing life size cardboard cutouts of David Hasselhoff from Cumberland Farms convenience stores. 

Just take in this statement from Burlington, Vermont police:

They love David Hasselhoff so much they
are stealing cardboard cutouts of him from Vermont
convenience stores.

Male in his 60s, but looks no older than his 30s, with lovely golden waves of hair and piercing blue eyes recently went missing from two locations," Burlington Police Ofc. Kim Shelley said.

Cumberland Farms is selling something called "Iced Hoffee," hence the promotion involving Hasselhoff.

I don't know how appetizing that is. I mean, iced coffee with David Hasselhoff's chest hair in it? I don't think so.

In any event, people like him, if not the Iced Hoffee so much the life sized images of Hasselhoff are disappearing as fast as they go up. From Vermont. And stores throughout the nation. 

Quite an odd collector's items, don't you think?

I'm wondering what people are doing with these Hasselhoff images. Do they put it in their bedrooms and sigh at David's eyes, and think how lovely it is he's in their bedroom? Isn't that a little creepy? 

Maybe the cutouts will be on the beach along Lake Champlain or some other Vermont lake the rest of the summer. We can recreate the show Babewatch, I mean Baywatch on Lake Carmi or something. 

I don't know what the penalty is for stealing a Hasselhoff cutout, but imagine explaining your crime to fellow inmates once you're convicted.