Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Oregon Whack Jobs Sure Don't Know How To Run A Revolution, Or Whatever They're Doing

Members of "Y'all Qaeda" are still holed
up at an Oregon wildlife refuge. Sigh. 
I was going to follow the lead of law enforcement and pretty much ignore the crazy guys who took over the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge  over in Oregon.

Apparently, they're annoyed by what they think is the evil federal government taking away our rights to the citizens' land.  Or set fire to it to control varmints or something.

Or maybe they just want to play dress up and pretend they're life sized GI Joe action figures and Wild Bill Hickok or something.

This place is a wildlife refuge, which, um, is open to the public. Anyone. At least until these yahoos showed up. Now nobody can go there except them. Are they the only people who think they are U.S citizens?

I hope they're not quintessential U.S. citizens, because such citizens would be bozos.

If not for the expense this takeover is costing us taxpayers, and the fear and inconvenience to the Oregonians living near the refuge, this would seem like a farcical movie comedy that gets mixed reviews.

Let's go over some of the highlights of this takeover.

1. Nobody is taking them seriously.  Like the late, great Rodney Dangerfield, "they don't get no respect."

Federal law enforcement is ignoring them. A lot of the rest of us are not exactly calling them terrorists, but things like "Y'all Qaeda""Yee-hawdists" and "Vanilla ISIS" since they're such wannabe but failing militants.

I've also seen them referred to, as Raw Story points out,  "Yokel Haram," "Fail Qaeda" who are participating in an "Infantada."

There've been some great Tweets about this outfit, such as "Y'all Qaeda follows a strict interpretation of Shania (Twain) law." and "Every successful revolution starts with the takeover of a closed visitor center with a gift shop."

2. The group put out a call via social media to get supplies, like food, clothing and the like. They probably got some of that, but many people, also inspired by social media, sent lots of dildos instead.

Dildos for the dildos. The militants there were not amused. One video showed one of the Y'all Qaeda guys angrily sweeping the dildos off a table. Temper, temper!

3. One of the idiots, Joe Oshaugnessy, collected donation money for the cause. When a newspaper revealed that Oshaugnessy lied about being a U.S. Marine, he got depressed and went to a hotel and used the donation money to drink his sorrows away.

Another Vanilla ISIS member tearfully announced this turn of events on Facebook. Awwww. So sad!

 4. Robert "LaVoy" Finicum, who is pretty much Y'allQaeda spokesman in Oregon, complained that the state of Arizona took away the foster kids who have been staying with his wife Jeannette at their Arizona home.

Now, I can't knock Finicum for helping boys from troubled homes find a sense of self-worth and independence at his ranch.

However, as Talking Points Memo notes:

".....having one parent away from home for a significant period of time committing a number o fhigh profile federal crimes would seem like at least a plausible reason to remove the children. This doesn't seem to occur to Finicum."

Also, says Talking Points Memo and Oregon Public Broadcasting, Finicum and his wife got most of their income from being foster parents. For a guy who wants government off our backs and likes his individualism, it's a little strange he's living off government subsidies.

Oh well, I guess it's OK to be a bit of a hypocrite if there's money to be made.

5. Then we have this video, a bizarre little battle cry with strange horns. Really guys?  It sounds like they're pretending to be mating mountain goats.

Which proves their little revolution is completely off the rails.

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